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June is Buddy Up Month

May 23, 2024

During the month of June, the Canadian Mental Health Association Nova Scotia Division joins organizations across Canada in recognizing Buddy Up month, which promotes authentic conversations among men and their buddies and raise awareness for the issue of men and suicide.

While rates of mental illness are comparable between men and women, men are less likely to recognize, talk about, and seek treatment for their illness, this can be explained in part by men’s reluctance to seek help or treatment for their mental health struggles.

Research suggests this is because men have been trained from an early age that showing emotion is a sign of weakness. They’re told to bury their feelings, “man up” if they’re feeling down, and essentially brush everything under the rug.

Men are often socialized to not talk about their emotions and may mask their stress and deal with emotional pain through harmful behaviours and actions instead of seeking help. 

These societal expectations may discourage men from seeking help when they begin to struggle and instead can drive them to unhelpful coping strategies. This can put men at greater risk for increased substance use, risk-taking behaviours, anger and frustration, and, too often, suicide.

Here are some tips from Buddy Up on how to engage a buddy you might be worried about. 

  1. Pay Attention. Any noticeable change in his behaviour is a warning sign your friend might not be doing well. These changes include not texting or calling as much, drinking more than usual, appearing tired and distant, talking about how much life sucks, and being more irritable or angry. 
  2. Start a Conversation. Choose a comfortable setting either over the phone, in the car or while hanging out together, and mention to him what you’ve noticed. Say something like, “I haven’t heard from you much these days. Is everything okay?” Try not to blame or shame him. 
  3. Keep it going. Ask questions and listen to what he’s saying. Avoid instantly problem-solving. Don’t change the subject. Back him up and acknowledge his feelings with something like, “That sounds really hard.” 

If you’re still worried about him, ask: “Are you thinking about suicide?” If he says yes, don’t panic. Let him know you’re there for him, and that there’s help. 

  1. Stick to your role. Remember, you’re a friend, not a counsellor. Suggest he call 988 and offer to be there with him for the conversation. Following the call, check in with him often. If he has imminent plans to die, contact 911 and ensure he is not left alone. 

Resources

Sources: CMHA National, Stats Canada, Centre for Suicide Prevention

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